ACT 1

1 – LANCE MEET KITTY

A bolt of sexual adrenaline ran through her nubile, 105 pound body, from her pretty little head, all the way down to her pretty little toes, five feet and two inches below.

2– MEOW!

Lance stared hard at Kitty. He wasn’t considering her offer; there was no doubt he was going to get in. He was just awestruck by her sex appeal..

3 – THE BOY WHO WOULD BE KING

Kitty’s phone rang. “Speak of the devil,” she said, killing the music, and hitting the answer icon. “Meow.”

4 – THE WHORE OF BABYLON LIVES

Kitty turned on the radio, and raced back onto the road. The radio settled at the first station it came upon, where Belinda Carlisle was halfway through Heaven is a Place on Earth. This elicited a squeal of laughter from Kitty, who sang along,

5 – PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!

The streets were mostly barren, but a group of about twenty kids were gathered in a suburban park, as Lance and Kitty approached it. “Another end of the world party. Wanna go?” Lance laughed.

6 – BLACK MAGIC TITTY POWDER

Yes, she could have pulled the shirt over her face from the top, but Kitty’s not that kinda girl. Kitty’s a tart. And an exhibitionist. And a tease. And she’s damn good at it, bless her soul.

7 – NOT THIS TIME, BANKSTERS

The printing presses on the magic money making machines were running, in overdrive, 24/7, all around the world. Although word had not yet gotten out, the banksters were lined up at the end of those presses, drooling, with wheel barrows.

8 – FUNNY MONEY

Does Jeff Bezos want more money in his life? Fuck yeah, he does. Do Warren Buffet, and Elon Musk want more money? Fuck yeah, they do. They can’t get enough of the filthy shit.

9 – A CONSPIRACY TO REMOVE THE PRESIDENT

Kitty laughed, accelerated until she completed the pass, hiked her shirt up to her neck, told Lance to take the wheel. Kitty turned around, and flashed the trucker, who responded by giving a couple long tugs on his air horn.

10 – MAGA

Kitty and Lance were laughing maniacally.
Kitty and Lance were still laughing maniacally.
Kitty and Lance were still laughing maniacally.

11 – SINO THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGING

“Well, there you have it,” said Kitty. “They’re holding his kids hostage. And this is tantamount to a declaration of war. Trade war, that is.”

12 – STOP THE PRESSES!

“Well, tell him to think of all things he’s done in his life that he should have, at least, been placed under house arrest for, but gotten away with..”

13 – ALL THE NEWS THAT’S NOT FIT TO PRINT

“You’re whores like the rest of us. You sell yourselves to the highest bidders. Always have.”

14 – DROP THE PUCK! GAME ON!

“Why hasn’t Trump conscripted Bruce Willis to deal with that? Is Willis a democrat?”

15 – NO SLEEP ‘TIL THUNDER BAY

Lance whispered back, “You’re really hot when you make with the lesbian talk!”