92 – DAISY DA MAN SHE GOTS HER A PLAN

 

Daisy was hunched over the front desk, scrawling on a note pad, when Margot walked into the lobby of Valhalla. “Hello, Daisy, darling. What ya working on?”

“Hi Miss Margot! Wonderful to see you again. I’m working on an anti-vaccine vaccine.”

“An anti-vaccine vaccine?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna sell ‘em to all the people who won’t take the vaccine, whenever they make one of those. My anti-vaccine vaccine will nullify the vaccine, kinda like rock, paper, scissors.

“So, if the vaccine is bad, everyone who took my anti-vaccine vaccine will be healthy, and they will be able to get all the benefits that are supposed to come to everyone who takes the vaccine. You know, jobs and passports and all stuff. And if the vaccine really turns people into robot slaves for Bill Gates, all the people who took my anti-vaccine vaccine will get all their guns, kill ‘em all, and let God sort ‘em out.”

“That’s a brilliant plan, Daisy. You’re gonna be filthy rich. What’s in your anti-vaccine vaccine?”

“Organic bleach, and super-duper sunshine. And one with THC, for the potheads, but that costs more. But I gotta get the mix ratios just rigt..”

“Do you inject it, or ingest it?”

“They can stick it in their asses, for all I care, Miss Margot, pardon my French. I’m gonna send the first one to Trump. He’ll be all about it. I’ll cut him in for a piece of the action.”

“Well, you’ll have to cut Putin in, too, then. You know they’re partners on everything.”

“That’s okay. I don’t mind. I ain’t greedy. I don’t even want the money.”

“Excellent. When you’re done with that one, maybe you can come up with a vaccine for greed.”

“Yeah, and one for stupid, too.”

“You’re the second coming of Jonas Salk, Daisy.”

“Oh, I wonder if the Freedom Fries Fighters guys are digging up his grave rigt now, and crucifying him in absentia. But they’re probably still looking for Galileo’s grave. They wanna burn his bones at the stake. That’s the only way to get this witch hunt started, back where it started. Damn scientists, always trying to lead us out if the dark ages. And Cookie Monster, Little Boy Blue, Tiny Tim, and Tinky Winky, too. They out to get us all, Miss Margot.”

“You’re probably rigt, Daisy. Better be careful with all that anti-vaccine vaccine hocus pocus alchemy. Maybe you should work on creating stronger leaches, for better bloodlettings.”

“You figure? Maybe some better thoughts and prayers, too, huh?”

“Sounds prudent. I don’t think they’ll come for you, with torches and pitchforks, for that, so long as you’re not praying to Molloch.”

“Well, I have been known to run with some devils, Miss Margot.”

“Speaking of running with the devil, I don’t see your van outside. Has Eddie finally died and gone to Hell?”

“Nah, Van Halen is just blowing a lotta blue smoke, so I’m riding my bike, ‘til I can get him fixed. It’s better for the environment. The air was so clear this morning I could see the Statue of Liberty over top the Sleeping Giant for the first time ever.”

“Okay, Daisy, you keep living your life like there’s no tomorrow.”

“What else can you do, when you live in a shoe?”

“Double down on your soul, and let the good times rock n roll, Daisy, you ain’t crazy! Do you know where Kitty’s at?”

Walking out of the resto, Kitty answered the question, “I’m rigt here, Margot.”

93 -THE INCOMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE  

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