83 – WHEN DR. SEUSS MEETS MOTHER GOOSE THINGS GET GRIMM: THE MONEY SHOT

 

The curious creature known as Daisy cleared her throat, and said, “I wrote this when some of my friends were in Mexico. I couldn’t go, but really wanted to, so I imagined what me and Peanut would do if we could go.”

What shall we do with this Peanut Taco?
What shall we do with this Peanut Taco?
What shall we do with this Peanut Taco?
Errlie in the morning

“So, the picture would be of me looking at PT, sometimes I call her PT, as in PT Barnum, ‘cause she’s so entertaining. Anyway, the pic is of me just looking at PT as she sleeps, and there’s a clock on the wall that shows the time as 6:30. So, on the next page, I sing the chorus”

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

“And the pic is of me and PT laughing and dancing. Then you turn the page, and sing.”

Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Errlie in the morning

“’cause it’s Mexico, and ‘cause sombrero rhymes with taco. Well it kinda does. And the pic is of me and Peanut wearing sombreros, and laughing, but the clock on wall in the background shows it is 6:45, now. And then you sing the chorus again. That’ll be the easy part for the kids to remember, ‘cause it’s always the same, and you sing it after every verse.”

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

“And there’s a pic of us wearing sombreros, laughing and dancing. Then you turn the page and sing,”

Take her to the canteen, feed her a burrito
Take her to the canteen, feed her two burritos
Take her to the canteen, feed her three burritos
Errlie in the morning

“’cause it’s breakfast time, and we’re hungry, and she can eat a lot, a lot, and ‘cause… well, I’ll tell you that part later. And the pic is of us wearing sombreros, laughing, sitting in a canteen with three burritos on our plates, and a clock on wall in the background shows it is 7:00, now.”

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

“And then a pic of us wearing sombreros, laughing and dancing inside the canteen.”

Give her a revolver, make her a bandito
Give her a revolver, make her a bandito
Give her a revolver, make her a bandito
Errlie in the morning

“And the pic is o me and PT wearing sombreros, laughing, with guns in our hands, and the clock on wall in the background shows it is 7:15.”

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

“And there’s a pic of us wearing sombreros, laughing and dancing, with guns in our hands. We are always laughing and dancing during the chorus.”

Give her a cerveza, with some fresh tomato
Give her two cerveza, with some fresh tomato
Give her three cerveza, with some fresh tomato
Errlie in the morning

“And the pic is of us wearing sombreros, guns in our hands, laughing, with three cervezas in front of us, and the clock on wall in the background is showing it is 7:30.”

Kitty had to interrupt, “Does PT drink beer?”

“Does she ever! She loves beer. Damn cat would be drunk all day, all night, if I let her be.”

“And she drinks beer with tomatoes?”

“Yeah, tomato juice. That’s how we drink breakfast beer in Thunder Bay. Doesn’t everyone drink Bloody Marys for breakfast?”

Kitty just laughed, and said, “Yes, of course. I’m not much for breakfast beer, so I guess I forgot.”

“That’s okay, pretty Kitty, I’ll learn you one morning.”

“I look forward to that, Daisy. Pardon the interruption. Please, carry on.”

“Okay, so where was I? Rigt!”

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

“And the pic is of us wearing sombreros, laughing, with guns and cervezas in our hands, and we’re dancing, of course, ‘cause we’re always laughing and dancing in the chorus, and ‘cause, well ‘cause we just pounded back six beers, and it ain’t even eight a.m. yet. Oh, yeah, there’s a clock in the picture, and it shows it’s 7:45, now. So, you turn the page again, and sing,”

Take her to the opera, wearing a tuxedo
Take her to the opera, wearing a tuxedo
Take her to the opera, wearing a tuxedo
Errlie in the morning

“And there’s a pic of PT and me wearing sombreros, and tuxedos, laughing, guns in our hands, walking into the opera, and there’s a clock on a wall showing it’s eight o’clock, ‘cause that’s what time the breakfast opera starts in Mexico. Now, that’s not true, but kids don’t know that. Tell the little fuckers anything, and they’ll believe you.”

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

“And this time, this is the real funny part, ‘cause the two of us are just gibbled, ‘cause we’ve already pounded back six beers, for breakfast, and we’re wearing sombreros, and tuxedos, and we’re laughing, with guns in our hands, inside the opera. The two of us are farting like crazy, “cause we ate three bean burritos, and we’re shooting our guns in the air, like drunken Mexican banditos, and people are holding  their noses, “cause we’re farting like crazy, and they’re all running away, ‘cause they think we’re gonna shoot ‘em, which we ain’t, we’re just having a little fun. Kinda like a warm up act, before the opera starts. And that’s kinda how the story ends, but the song kinda repeats, one line per page, with a new/old pic. So, like this, ‘cause this is how the real song ends,”

That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco

“And we just repeat pic of us wearing sombreros and laughing,”

That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco

“And we repeat the pic of us wearing sombreros, laughing, and dancing, with burritos in your hands,”

That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco

“And we repeat the pic of us wearing sombreros, laughing, and dancing with guns in our hands,”

That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco

“And we repeat the pic of us wearing sombreros, laughing, and dancing, with guns and cervezas in our hands.”

That’s what w do with this Peanut Taco

“And we repeat pic of us wearing sombreros, and tuxedos, laughing, guns in hands, inside the opera, just pissed! And the two of us are farting, and shooting our guns, as people hold their noses and run away. And then the last line of the song, which is the last line in the story, is,”

Errlie in the morning

“And the last pic is of me, and PT laughing, and waving goodbye. And that’s THE END.”

Kitty, who had barely been able to contain her laughter through the telling of the tale, not wanting to break Daisy’s rhythm, exploded in laughter, took both hands off the wheel, and applauded wildly. “That’s fucking genius, Daisy! It’s so funny!”

“Really, Miss Kitty? You really like it?”

“Daisy, seriously, it’s brilliant.”

“Aw, shucks, well, thank you, pretty Kitty. Thank you a whole lot. A lotta people say they don’t like it, ‘cause it’s got drinking, and shooting in it, so it’ll never sell, ‘cause it’s for kids, and kids ain’t supposed to drink, and shoot guns, but I think they’re all just a bunch of humourless fucks, who need to loosen the fuck up. They’re all wound up so tight that they could crack walnuts with their assholes.”

84 -AYATOLLAH ANARCHISTS AREN’T ALLOWED IN ANARCHIA

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ALTOGETHER NOW

What shall we do with this Peanut Taco?
What shall we do with this Peanut Taco?
What shall we do with this Peanut Taco?
Errlie in the morning

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Errlie in the morning

Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Give her a sombrero, make her an amigo
Errlie in the morning

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

Take her to the canteen, feed her a burrito
Take her to the canteen, feed her two burritos
Take her to the canteen, feed her three burritos
Errlie in the morning

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

Give her a revolver, make her a bandito
Give her a revolver, make her a bandito
Give her a revolver, make her a bandito
Errlie in the morning

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

Give her a cerveza, with some fresh tomato
Give her two cerveza, with some fresh tomato
Give her three cerveza, with some fresh tomato
Errlie in the morning

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

Take her to the opera, wearing a tuxedo
Take her to the opera, wearing a tuxedo
Take her to the opera, wearing a tuxedo
Errlie in the morning

Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Way, hey and up she rises
Errlie in the morning

That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco
That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco
That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco
That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco
That’s what we do with this Peanut Taco
Errlie in the morning