Candy Mountain being south of the Valhalla Inn, Daisy told Kitty to take a left out of the parking lot. Kitty laughed that there be no left turns allowed anywhere south of the border, after July 4, but complied. “You have a very fertile imagination, Daisy. Are you an artist?”

“Oh, how I wish I were, or was, or whatever,” Daisy refrained, “’cause if I werz I could draw the kids book I wrote, but I can’t draw a conclusion.”

Not bothering to point out that her companion and navigator is more than capable of drawing some fairly wild conclusions, Kitty asked, “You’ve written a kids book?”

“Kinda. But I kinda stole it,” Daisy confessed.


“Well, it’s about me and my cat, Peanut Taco.”

“Your cat’s name is Peanut Taco?”

“Yeah. I was eating a peanut taco when she appeared from out of nowhere, when she was just a little kitten. She was all skinny, and making a lot of noise, so I figured she was hungry. All I had was my peanut taco, so I gave her some of it. She loved it, so I gave her more, and more. The little thing ate the whole thing. She absolutely loves peanut tacos, more than anything. More than meat, even. Matter of fact, she won’t hardly eat no meant, unless she’s starving, which she never is, of course. I swear that cat is an alien. The way she just appeared, literally from out of nowhere.”

“Maybe she is an alien. Is that part of the story?”

“No, but it might be, if I write more of them, but I need to find an artist to work with, ‘cause like Alice said, ‘What good is a book without pictures?’ especially a book for little kids.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to find an artist to work with,” Kitty assured her.

“Maybe, but maybe not. Artists are lazy-assed weirdoes, and they always wanna change my story. Least the ones I’ve talked to. And I ain’t changing my story, even though I kinda stole it.”

“Tell me about your story, Daisy.”

“I can do better than that. I got it memorized. It’s real easy to remember, ‘cause everyone already knows the song.”


With that, Daisy started singing,

What do you do with a drunken sailor?
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
Earlie in the morning

“You’re right, everyone knows the song. So, you just changed the words?”

“Yeah. But I think it will be real popular, ‘cause everyone already knows the music, and it’s a fun story, so they can sing it to the kids. And kids love to sing. And there’s dancing in the story, so the people reading the story can sing and dance with the kids, and the kids will remember the story because it’s set to music, so they’ll always ask for it from everyone, and even if the grown up don’t know the story, the kids will teach it to them, so it will spread like wild fire.”

“That’s really smart, Daisy. Sing it to me, please?”

“Yeah? You really wanna hear it?”

“I do!”

“Alright, I’ll sing it, but I’ll stop after every chorus, and verse to explain what the drawing will be of, so you get the whole picture.”

“I love it already,” Kitty Kaboodle said with a smile.