81 – YA GOTTA ROCK OUT WITH YER GLOCK OUT

 

As Kitty and Daisy were making their way to the flatbed Ford, they stopped to have a word with Lance, who was sitting on top of the picnic table, laughing his ass off.

“What’s so funny, funny guy?” Kitty asked.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this!” said Lance, putting his phone down. “Looks like Live Nation is attempting a massive comeback. They just got a five hundred million dollar investment from the Saudi Sovereign Wealth Fund.”

“I’m sure Jamal Khashoggi’s widow will love that,” Kitty cracked.

“I bet,” Lance Lear agreed. “But, really, what the fuck was he thinking, walking into a Saudi consulate, anyway? It’s like a cow escaping the slaughterhouse, and walking in it a butcher shop.”

“Agreed,” Kitty agreed, “Bad career move, dude. I guess your guy, Rapino, is determined to avoid having to come back here to make toilet paper at the mill.”

“The shares were bought on the open market, ”

“Has anyone at Live Nation resigned, or even voiced an objection?”

“Not that I see,” Lance answered. But, listen to this. They’ve just announced the killer concert of the year. Covidiots Unite, they should be calling it, but they are actually calling it the Freedom Fries Festival. July 4, Detroit Rock City.”

“They’re riffing off the protests at the legislature,” Kitty opined.

“Very much so.”

“Lemme guess, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are headlining?”

“Bingo! Two of Detroit’s own I don’t imagine they tried to get Eminem to sign on. They’ve got Sarah Palin and the Kardasians MCing. It’s a fundraiser for Trump 2020. Sponsored by the NRA, Jack Daniels and Budweiser. Open carry, open season, kill a kommie for khrist, amen! Rain or shine. Fireworks guaranteed, bring the kids, no masks allowed, even if they’ve got the flag printed on them. Speaking of flags, they’re gonna burn a million Chinese flags, all of which will be made in China, no doubt, like Trump’s MAGA hats. Oh, and no Chinks allowed, even if they’re card carrying Republicans.”

“It’s gonna be Woodstock for Covidiots,” Kitty laughed.

“Did you know Woodstock was held during a pandemic?” Lance asked.

“Yeah, the Hong Kong flu. Not as deadly as COVID-19, and the hippies had their own vaccine: her name was Lucy, she lived in the sky and wore diamonds!”

“Maybe Trump will show up at Freedom Fries Fest, and dose everyone personally,” Lance said, with a twinkle in his eyes.

“The only way it could get any better is if the aliens decided to show up rigt then, rigt there, to start farming us.”

“Maybe they’d change their minds about farming us, if they dropped acid,” one day soonish King Lear posited.

“Not if they dropped acid with Trump and his legions of doom, they wouldn’t. They’d exterminate the whole fucking planet, with extreme prejudice, rigt then, rigt there, and slap a quarantine on this sector of the galaxy for a million years.”

“Yeah, but only if God were willing, and God’s on Trump’s side, doubly so on the Fourth, so I wouldn’t bet a million bucks on it.”

Kitty laughed, “Allah fucking Akbar, brother. Peace out!”

Daisy had been holding her tongue, hoping someone would ask what she thought. Since the question was not asked, she answered it anyway, “Ain’t no point in arguing with dogs about when and where they’re gonna shit.”

82 – WHEN DR. SEUSS MEETS MOTHER GOOSE THINGS GET GRIMM

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