The tortured and twisted logic of Daisy mesmerized the gang of four, and Kitty couldn’t resist delving deeper into the suddenly fascinating girl. “What else has caught your attention today, Daisy?”

“Hmmm,” Daisy pondered for a few seconds, then answered, “Michigan. The gun guys are protesting in the legislature again.”

“Have the Freedom Fries Fighters stated what they want?” Kitty asked.

“They want the government to let everyone go back to work. And the government was gonna debate that, and vote on it. But someone has threatened the President’s life, and all the Freedom Fries Fighters were inside, watching the government, with all their guns, so the government cancelled the session, so no one gets to go back to work.”

“And what do you think about that, Daisy?” asked Kitty.

“I think it’s kinda funny. The Freedom Fries Fighter guys outsmarted themselves. Shot themselves in their asses.”

“What do you think will happen next?” Kitty asked.

“Well, the government has to pass a law that says that anyone carrying a gun into the building has to have authorization to do so, but they can’t keep the gun guys out until they do so. And they ain’t gonna pass that law when all the gun guys are in there with their guns, so I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“What would you do, Daisy?” was Kitty’s next question.

“If I were the President, you mean?” Kitty ignored the twice made mistake, and nodded her head. “Well, I would trick ‘em. I would pass a law so that everyone in the building with a gun, rigt then and there, could sell their guns to the government for a million dollars a piece. I’d have all the money rigt there. I mean, are the gun guys so dumb that they would pass up on an offer like that? I don’t think anyone is that dumb. Then; all the gun guys who weren’t there would call all the ones that were there sell-outs, and they’d kill each other.”

Stephen jumped in, deliberately mangling an HL Menken truism into a Dubya blunderbeauty, “Nobody ever went broke misunderestimating the intelligence of the American people.”

Daisy thought that one over, and said, “No, I guess not. But I think that would take care of the problem. And I think it would be smart if I didn’t mention that George Soros would be picking up the tab for the buy back, ‘cause, you know, the Freedom Fries Fighter guys don’t like that Soros guy, but at least the poor taxpayer wouldn’t have to pay for it.”

“Soros, not Bill Gates?” asked Kitty.

“Oh, Bill Gate is the devil himself. I would arrest him, and sacrifice him on an altar, at midnight, under a full moon. That would get all the gun guys on my side.”

With the waitress on a roll, Kitty made another quick query, “What else, Daisy? What else do you think about this comedy of errors?”

“Hmmm. Well a couple things. The Freedom Fries Fighter guys say they are fighting for democracy. But they are trying to be some kinda guerilla army, forcing the government to do what they want, with their guns. So, they’re really more like communists, or something. And the other thing is that they don’t seem to understand that there is no such thing as democracy, anyway.”

This intrigued Kitty, who asked, “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, think about it. When dos democracy happen? It never happens, so no one has any idea what it is. Families are not democratic. Schools are not democratic. When we finish school, and go to work, the boss is the boss, so no democracy. This so called democratic society of ours is nothing more than a plethora of mini dictatorships. We don’t practice democracy in our day-to-day lives. So, back to the question – when does democracy happen? Once every four years, you get to pick a pack of pathological liars from a larger pack of pathological liars, and hope that they are the lessers of the evils, when it’s more likely that they are the evils of the lessers. And it never matters who gets elected because it’s always ‘Meet the new boss, same as the old boss’. And you call that democracy? That’s not democracy. That’s deMOCKracy. Why don’t they ever let anyone vote on whether or not to go to war? Has anyone ever been able to vote on whether or not to go to war? What’s so complicated about holding a referendum on war? But the Freedom Fries Fighters guys want to start a war for democracy, but it would be a democracy in which they make all the rules. It’s all just dumb, and so are they. ”

Madonna, who had binge read THE RIFF N RAFF REBELLIONS VOLUME 1 the night before, and Stephen and Kitty, who had both read it more than once, were stunned. Stunned, because what Daisy had just said was an almost verbatim passage from the book.

The three of them looked at each other, slack jawed. They all had the same question in their heads, but left it to Kitty to ask it. “Daisy, have you ever read a book titled, THE RIFF N RAFF REBELLIONS VOLUME 1? It was written by a guy who is from Thunder Bay.”

Daisy didn’t have to think about that one. “No. I ain’t never read no book called THE RIFF N RAFF REBELLIONS VOLUME 1, written by Brian Godzilla Salmi, but I have heard people talking about it.”

“What are they saying?” Madonna asked.

“They’re all saying it’s the best damn book been written in a hundred years, or more.”




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