48 – THE MONEY SHOT 3

 

The King of Horror’s son rolled his eyes at his father’s announcement of the obvious. “No, it’s not going to be as easy as all that. But, again, this is why Branson is the perfect frontman for this. When I was researching him, I came across a brilliant quote, that explains his attitude perfectly. He said, ‘If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!’ He’s also said that a business is just something that makes life better for people.”

Kitty Kaboodle, the world’s newest millionaire, barged in, “And that’s what money is. It’s a tool with which you can make people’s lives better. It’s a boat in an ocean filled with drowning people. And most of the people who own the boats have them tied to the dock. And the people who don’t own boats worship the people who do own boats. The people who don’t own boats think they are going to own a boat some day, and never even wanna think of the possibility that they are gonna be out in the ocean, drowning, instead. They don’t even wanna know there are people drowning in the ocean.” Once again, passion and scorn was gushing out of the girl. “And, if they do manage to get a boat one day, they’re gonna sit at the dock, and drink cocktails with the other boat owners, because that’s just what the fuck you do when you own a boat.”

Not daring to utter a sound until he was sure Kitty was finished, Lance studied her. She felt his gaze on her. She smiled, telling him the floor was his, once again, and the boy got back to it.

“Well, that’s exactly what Commonwealth is all about. Making life better for people. And not just for a few people. We make life better for everyone directly involved, and even millions who are not.”

Kitty jumped back in, “We offer all the services other banks offer, but we keep our service charges etc. below what others charge. We can do that, because the bank is not even meant to be a primary revenue source anyway.”

Madonna was buying it, but wanted to know, “If not in the UK, where will the bank be headquartered.?”

Kitty knew the answer. “Iceland.”

“Correct,” Lance confirmed.

“How did you know that?” Madge asked the other female in the room.

Stephen laughed, “Because she read it in Riff n Raff. In book two, the kids solve global warming. But they also put the world’s banksters in their place, and they turn to Iceland to understand how to deal with the heartless monsters. I’ll not explain that, because I don’t wanna spoil it for you, but it’s funny as fuck, especially the trial.”

“A trial of banksters? Excellent! Very iInteresting,” said Lance. “Salmi used Iceland…”

“In the story, it’s called Snowland,” Kitty interrupted.

“He used Iceland slash Snowland, because they jailed their banksters in the aftermath of the 2008 global financial crisis. Conversely, the Wall Street banksters got bailed out by taxpayers, and stuffed their pockets with the still wet greenbacks, before lending the rest out to their friends.”

“Yes,” King confirmed. “That was his reasoning for Riff n Raff dealing with the banksters in Iceland. Snowland, that is.”

“So, back here in the real world, rigt here and rigt now, Iceland will be trusted by the global citizenry that will be Commonwealth members,” Madonna said. “They will know the Icelanders don’t put up with banky panky shit, so we will have their confidence.”

“Yes. And because it is a sovereign state, and not a member of the EU, the Icelanders will rewrite their banking legislation to allow us to have members banking with us from all around the world, without having to set foot in the country.” Lance added.

Stephen signified he was getting it by adding, “Iceland will love us because we will know our customers intimately, or at least their banking information, as will they, because it’s on a transparent blockchain. No hanky-panky in our banky.”

Madge picked it up, “Also, because it’s so small, less than a half million population, they will make enough money from the taxes we pay to provide guaranteed annual income to every citizen. People who don’t want to, would not have to work.”

Lance grinned, nodded, and added, “And we will be the largest employer in the country, for those who actually do want to sell their labour.”

“I love Iceland, “Kitty said. “It is, by far, the most socially progressive country in the world. They have an abundance of renewable geothermal energy, so we can run a clean and green operation. We will need a lot of energy for our operations, and we sure ain’t gonna be using Amazon Web Services. Everything about the place works for me, except…”

“Whaling,” said Stephen.

“But we can get them to give that bullshit up,” insisted Kitty. “Are the handful of knuckle draggers who still murder whales, because it’s their tradition, gonna deny the rest of the country, and the world, what we can offer, for the sake of clinging onto a barbaric tradition?”

“No,” Madonna concluded. “No, they’re not. But, if they try, I know just the girl to beat them into submission.”

“We’re going to see Bjork?” Kitty squealed. “I love Bjork!”

49 – BIRTH OF THE FREEDOM FRIES FIGHTERS

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