37 – SORRY?


The manager was transfixed on whatever was on his screen. Madge watched him for 13 seconds before asking, “What are you watching, Scott?”

Snapping to attention, and pulling out his ear buds, Scott said, “Oh. Hello. Sorry.” He said it again, this time with a bemused chuckle, “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, and tell me what you’re watching.”

Clueing in, Scott said, “No. It’s not her. Not the girl.” Madonna was relieved to hear that. But then he said, “But it kinda is her.”

“What are you talking about?”


“Stop apologizing. Why do Canadians feel the need to endlessly apologize?”

Scott checked his impulse to apologize for apologizing gratuitously, and laughed. “Rigt. No, you don’t understand. I’m watching you. I’m watching your video for Sorry.”

Madge laughed and sang, “I don’t wanna hear, I don’t wanna know, please don’t say you’re sorry.” She stopped laughing, but kept smiling, “That’s flattering, Scott. Nothing to apologize for. Sorry ‘bout that. Damn! It more contagious than the damned virus is!”

Scott laughed at Madonna’s funny. Relieved, he responded, “Oh. Okay. Good. I did not want to offend you. It’s a brilliant song, and video. It’s umM… very inspiring, I think is the rigt word.”

Madonna, who had heard it all before, said, “That’s great Scott. Please show me the security camera footage.” Then she stopped, and said, “Wait. What do you mean, it kinda is her?”

“Yes. The girl.”

“Her name is Kitty.”

“Oh, I believe that.”

Madonna looked like she was getting annoyed, so Scott cut to it. “Kitty. She danced your routine from Sorry, while disrobing, before diving into the pool, and umm… what I told you before.”

Astonished, Madonna asked, “What? Are you kidding?”

“No, I’m not. I would not. C’mon. I’ll show you.” As the pair walked to the security office Scott fawned, “I know you’ve heard it all before, but I really am such a huge fan.” Madonna’d heard it all before, heard it all before, and not wanting to encourage any more fawning, simply smiled.

“I would die a happy man if I could ever be one of your dancers. In a concert, or a video.”

“Are you gay?”

“Do I have to be?”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt your chances.”

Scott decided to dead end that tangent, and move backwards. “Anyway, ever since you got here, I have been watching nothing but your stuff. Over and over. So, when I saw little miss Kitty dancing, stripping, the moves, her rhythms, the choreography, it was all obvious to me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me in the restaurant?”

“I hadn’t seen her dancing, yet. The security officer called me when he noticed, but I didn’t get there until she was just about to dive into the pool. But when I left the restaurant, I went back to check the whole thing, and get it cued up for you. That’s when I saw it, and realized what she was doing.”

Madonna and Scott watched it three times. Madge was in awe. The girl could dance. And what a body! Kitty had nailed the routine, as if she’d created it herself. She knew the cameras were on her, all four of them, and she played to each one, as she seductively shed her attire. Her routine was a perfect synchronization. Scott confirmed there was no audio, saying, “We are not in habit of listening to our guests, nor shall we ever be.”

As they watched for the fourth time, Madonna laughed, “She really likes that song! She must have been listening to it on her phone.”

When the song was over, Kitty plunged into the pool, swam to the camera that was closest to the water, stared straight into it, smiling madly, and sure enough, she rubbed one out. And oh, how the girl enjoyed it!




dj jc cover front